Friday, December 12, 2008

Christmas Card Rating System

I came across this perusing the internet and couldn't stop laughing--I thought I would share. And yes, I will keep track of your score...

Card received: +5
Card received before December 1st: -1
Card received after December 25th: -1
Card is pretty, and looks nice on wall: +3
Card is glittery: +1
Card does not contain card, but only letter, so there is nothing to put up on wall: -3
Card is e-card: -5

Card includes photo or is photo card: +5
More than one photo: +2 each additional photo

Photo is non-Christmassy so will look good on fridge all year: +1
Photo is Christmassy so increases holiday feeling of card: +1

Red-eye causes family to appear possessed by evil Christmas spirit: -1
Photo was taken on beach this past summer in summer clothing, so family looks chilly against winter pattern of card: -1
Photo includes dogs with glowing eyes who seem poised to eat humans: -1

Card includes letter: +5
Letter is informative and interesting: +3
Letter describes child as "amazing" or "already an avid reader at age 3!": -3 each
Letter is so braggy and saccharine-cheery, I wonder why I associate with these people: -3
Letter is so very braggy and saccharine-cheery, it crosses over into comical and becomes fun to read aloud in an unkind tone of voice: +2
Letter is a sermon disguised as a Christmas letter, and contains pious hopes for our country, for mankind, and for me personally: -5
Letter mentions details of gross surgery: -1 or +1, depending on entertainment value
Letter contains thinly-veiled family gossip: +3
Letter contains information that should have been told earlier: -2

Card includes check: +5
Large check: +10

Card includes announcement of pregnancy: +10
Card from Christmas Card Friends contains surprising news of baby born since last card sent: +10

1 comment:

The Goulds said...

I'm a little slow on my cards...not going to do so well on the grading scale :) but I also don't have anywhere to send you guys a card. Can you email me your address?