Monday, May 9, 2011

Could I do it again?

As Kevin has returned home from his deployment, I often reflect back on those six months that he was gone and most of the time I say to myself, "Man! Those went by quickly!" but then I stop to think about each of the individual months and realize that many days were more than difficult. Many days were unbearable. Not because the children had a hard day but because he was missing so many memories with the children and I. Thanksgiving and Christmas in 2010, New Years, Audrey's first birthday, Derek's 4th birthday, Kevin's birthday, Valentine's Day, Easter, April Fool's Day, children's events, choir performances were all done without him present. The day came and went and we made it through but I would never choose to do it again if I had the choice. Could we do it again? Absolutely! Would we ever want to? No.
For those of you whose spouses are still deployed you have my heart. You have my compassion. You have my strength when you need it. For those of you whose spouses will deploy, you have my ability to listen, to cry with you, to laugh with you and to buoy you up when you need it. Take from my experience what you need and want. I am more than willing to give anything to help someone through what I experienced.

We may have to go through a deployment sometime in the next eight years. Will I be better prepared for it? I hope so, but I also do not believe that we can ever prepare ourselves fully for the emptiness you feel when your companion is so far away. I love our country, I love my husband and for the sacrifices he makes for what he believes in and for our family. His perspective is amazing and constant. I am so happy he is home. I am once again complete.

3 comments:

Matt said...

Awesome. You just made me get misty-eyed.

Timani said...

Absolutely beautiful.

Josh said...

Any separation in a reltionship is difficult, but when there are so many events that one person misses due to their deployment, it makes it even harder!

Our whole family admires you, Kevin, and your whole family for their commitment to making this work so well. Thanks for being a strong inspiration to others.